writing

i love writing, obviously. i started this blog mainly because of that. but throughout my life, i'm probably going to be faced with the words "written off topic" on essays and papers. i'm not sure i can help writing "off topic" much. because what i'm good at, and what i always do, is creative writing. i think of something along the lines of the topic and just expound, pouring my words out onto the paper, speaking my mind about things. which i thought was good, isn't it? i guess not. i want to write for my own pleasure, give me something to write about and i'll just go for it. but stay on topic? maybe not. i'm always talking, and i really want to talk about things that interest me or don't interest me, and why. i hate writing on things that i can't write about. if i were to do an essay on dogs being man's best friend, for example, i wouldn't have anything to say. at all. this is what i have to say about dogs in general: "dogs are mammals who are all pretty stupid except for the few smart ones who provide some entertainment. the especially sinister ones eat children and stink and slobber all over carpets. i don't see how they are man's best friend, unless man is as strange as the dog. the end." what i'd rather study and write about, would be sinister dogs with rabies. that would be interesting. but i wouldn't be staying on topic, would i? i'm perplexed with this issue. i love to write, but if something doesn't interest me, how can i write about it? and how can i stay on topic if i hardly know what the topic is?

giant papillary conjunctivitis! woohoo!

hi guys. i am a dork. officially. i mean, the title just screams that, huh. i came to this realization (no i shall not spell it the brit way, even though i usually do since i'm an anglophile, because that will make me look like more of a dork, eh) by realizing these two facts about myself:

1. i was about to post another post on how i am filled with IRE and STRESS because i received an 80 (out of 100) on an essay i wrote. now, i do have my reasons on why this has made me so angry/sad/stressed, including, but not limited to:i thought i did an amazing job on the seemingly easy essay, the reasons the teacher gave in explanation for my grade were almost completely pointless, i don't even know what the teacher wants from me, in terms of my essays, anymore, at all, which puts me in an even worse place, i was sick (YES! SICK! IMAGINE THAT!) on the day the teacher discussed the essay (therefore not getting the lecture on it,  IMAGINE THAT! YES!), the person next to me who is somewhat less experienced in writing due to not reading anything, ever, and not writing anything, ever (whereas i've been reading three books at least every month for nearly all my life, and have been writing things for nearly all my life) and the essay was the first legit essay i wrote for the teacher. still, it shows i'm a dork. not only have i failed my standards in the 3rd week of school, but i have also proven myself to be the person in the class who freaks out when they make a B. 

2. i went to the ophthalmologist  yesterday (that in itself shows i'm a dork), and was diagnosed with giant papillary conjunctivitis. most people can't even pronounce those words. it's an infection, sort of like pink eye but a lot worse and different. my upper eyelid is infected, it's gotten extremely thick (don't know how, or why that's bad), to where, if you were to look at it, it's very, very red and you can't see the capillaries. uninfected eyelids are whiter and you can see the capillaries. but on mine, you can't. so it could actually make me blind, if i kept wearing contacts. obviously i don't want to be blind, so i'm having to wear glasses perpetually, or well, until the infection goes away. even then, i have to be extra extra careful, because it could come back. this infection's kind of like any other infection-it makes me sick, because my immune system is down. this could be why i've not felt completely well for the past 6 months. so besides showing me to be a dork, it's painful,  gross, and scary. 

so that's what's up, that's why i'm a dork. i know this post is pretty bird's-songs-ish, but oh well. 

count on seeing another rather ehhhh unhappy post tomorrow, i've finally got a scheduled post! wahoo! right, and there's no readers for me to schedule it for. :(( bah.

oh, actually, i've got two scheduled posts: soon, i'm going to do a post on my loverly friend aria's newish albumish thing, titled cities vs. submarines, which you all should listen to now!

THANK YOU, BRIGHTON!

i wish 

el laberinto del fauno

i watched pan's labyrinth last night. i think the english title should have kept true to the spanish one, and should have been faun's labyrinth, but that is the only thing i didn't like. it was beautiful, haunting, gruesome, magical, and sad. ivana baquero played ofelia really, really well. actually, i thought all the acting was wonderful, from every character. it was a modern-day fairy tale, that faced serious issues as well. i love a good anti-fascist movie! and the fact that it's spanish was cool, i could understand [some of] it (which is surprising seeing as i haven't had bi-weekly spanish lesson for 3 months), and i remembered how much i love hearing people speak spanish, especially castilian. the monsters (mr. faun and pale man, as well as captain vidal!) were fabulous creatures, things that could make you scared just by looking at them, especially the pale man. so all in all it was a marvelous movie, definitely worth seeing! i loved it. and i'm going to end now because i just read over what i've written and it sounds really "oh yes, i am intellectual, oh yes, if you want to talk about politics and the franco regime, i'm your girl!" but that is not what i want to put across because i am so humble like that (not really). well, and i don't want to talk about politics, no thank you. i'm not against them or whatever, i don't think they are super boring, i'd just much rather talk about a lot of things that aren't politics. ah, ok. i'm so scared someone's going to come along and hear me talk about how i don't like talking about politics as much as everyone else does, and they'll be all upon me (all upon me? i don't know why i just said that.), saying "you are ignorant and blahablhablha because you think politics are boring, you are so juvenile, blahablhabh". anyway. what was my point? oh yeah, pan's labyrinth. it's gooood, see it!

yo what up, hombre pálido! you be hungry for some niñas, ehh?

i've thought it over, i've had a good day

i woke up today with a  jolt. it was due to my alarm going off, for the first time in 3 months, alerting me to get up and going at 6:45am. somehow, after reviewing what day it was, what time it was, what i was about to do, i practically jumped out of bed and skipped to the bathroom, only to find ants invading my trash can (turns out there had been rotten food in my overused and neglected rubbish bin). instead of getting off to a bad start, i skipped up the stairs, drank a fruit shake, and annihilated the ants. then i quickly got ready for the day, and rode off to school with nathan. (by that time i was thinking, "how am i this perky? i can't be this perky. won't last.") so i went through my day, chatting/giggling with sofia. after getting off at 11am, we went to the retta's house to eat. we had a wonderful luncheon, with macaroni and cheese and organic beans and brownies and playmobiles. yes, it was quite a kiddy lunch, but it was great. as much as i love hanging out with big groups of (nice) people and as much as i wish i knew more (nice) people, i absolutely love hanging out with my 3 best friends: my brother, julia, and sofia. well, i love hanging out with them when we're all in good moods ha. but then again, who likes hanging out with people when they're in bad moods! so anyway, after eating/playing, nathan and i went home and started school work (which took 3 hours, not the best part of my day obv). and i had a nice internet-surfing day, then ate dinner and internet-surfed some more. now i finish my day with a cup of chamomile tea and a cookie. wonderful. let's hope i have another good day tomorrow, eh? (of course, i know it's partly because of how i view my day, if i believe i'm going to have a good day and i don't let things get me down, i have a good day. if not, i don't. i know that. but some days it's harder than others)

love,

lydia                           

it is finished

my first day back at school was today. i'm glad to get it over with, i've got an outlook on how the rest of the year is going to look like. i've decided that if i can FOCUS (!!!!) and WORK until i am completely and TOTALLY finished, it will be MUCH BETTER in the long run. no procrastination this year! (yeah, wait until next week and i'll have already broken  that vow) actually, i got off to a pretty good start today, with hardly any interruptions on my part. hip hip hooray for me. we'll see how long i can keep it up, but i'm feeling pretty confidant. it's going to be hard, but whatever. no social life is better than no life at all. (when have i ever had a social life anyway??)

my nails are black cherries

it's been a while since my nails have been painted. but now they have been painted. and it's this strange color called black cherry, it certainly does look like black cherries. so i was like "oh. cool. this probably won't match with any of my clothes. not that i care, because i never match ha! seriously, though, i don't match. just an observation of how black cherry is a strange color." well, after i've had the color for two days, i've found that it somewhat matches with everything i'm wearing. maybe it's kind of psychological, where the color of my nails is like, somehow forcing me to pick clothes that have "black cherry" in them. but nonetheless, everything i'm wearing turns out to have a shade of cherry in it. so weird! but cool. i like it, because my nails and my clothes match. it's an interesting feat i've never achieved before! hooray.

i have determined i need my own camera. maybe i could buy myself a lil camera. BUT NO i need new drums, too. i need a source of income, is what i need!

also, i posted an angry, venting bulletin on my myspace about an hour ago. and while i'm still bored out of my mind, i've put on one of my cardigans (they always comfort me, like a blankie. so warm, so soft. keeping me from my wintry room, even though it's 100 degrees outside.), and i have looked at blogs. i'm a bit better now. thanks. (not like anyone has asked how i'm doing HUH)